One of the problems with having bad days is they make you want to wallow. I actually think a degree of wallowing is good. That is, a degree of letting yourself really experience how you’re feeling before trying to move on from it. I think doing that is very important. Figuring out where the line is is difficult, though. Too much sitting around is bad for depression and worse for chronic pain. Even not that much sitting around is bad for chronic pain. This makes things difficult because, well, how do you give yourself time to relax if physically relaxing actually makes things worse?
When I have an answer I’ll let you know.
JT Eberhard posted on his blog the other day about difficulties with meds fucking with mood.
But I really want to punch things. This is so unlike me. And I’m aware of the change, but I can’t reason away the emotions. I can’t just tell myself that this is the meds and it’s not me and have it go away.
In his case, it’s meds making him abnormally angry. I feel like there’s a good analogy between that and shit days in general, though. You can know why it’s happening, you can know it’s irrational, and you can know if will probably pass. You can know specifically that the specific things your brain is telling you are categorically false, and it just doesn’t seem to matter. Sometimes trying to talk yourself down just ends up making the angry frustrated feelings that much more angry and frustrated. Sometimes, bad feelings will fight back like a cornered animal. In those cases, what do you do?