This is what I sound like when grasping at new concepts

me
I had a thing I wanted to talk about
have some time?

friend
sure
what’s up?

me
I’ve decided I don’t find sexy very sexy

me
like
this sort of just popped into my head
it’s been bothering me for a while
because I realized that I don’t really actually know how to come onto people. Or anything like it.
At least not as anything other than in a sort of “Isn’t this a silly way of going about things, no but really I actually do want to fuck you” sort of attitude
like
how to say it…
the sort of attitude or style. The way of being that people tend to think of as sexy
I can’t do it
I don’t like it
I need a new concept
sexiness takes itself to seriously
*too

friend
well I don’t think you have to do it the way other people do it

me
I don’t either
But I feel like I need something to model what I do after, you know? Like, not that I need to copy others, exactly. I just need to have a clear enough idea of what I want to be doing that I can try to do it

friend
mm.

me
And I need to be able to think of it as attractive
Which I think it definitely can be

friend
so would you like some input from me, as someone that has been attracted to you? (I tried to find the best form of that verb)

me
sure :)
That appeals to both my scientific mindset and my ego 😀

friend
haha
it might take me a minute, I am juggling other conversations and want to give you a good response
for science, of course

me
🙂
:)

friend
so i think what’s sexy about you is your personality and the way it clicks with mine
so maybe that’s not the best response
because it’s dependent on the person you’re talking to
like if i really get along with someone, that’s sexy. physical attractiveness too
and sort of a lot of smiling and making jokes
that’s flirty to me

me
That makes sense
“Sexy” as an attitude or approach gets less and less attractive to me the more I do sexy things with people.
It’s offputting
because it’s distant

friend
i’d agree with that
you want to feel a connection with someone

me
I don’t want to be mysterious. I want to be friendly. But also I want to fuck you.
that, too

friend
i think it’s ok to be friendly
or really ,preferrable
i think in general people want to have sex with someone whose personality clicks with theirs. or at least the people you’d want to have sex with

me
yeah, true

friend
so why hide your personality, your greatest asset?

me
😀:-D

friend
because then you will also attract someone that clicks with you
instead of someone who just wants mysterious

me
yeah
that’s true
In a way I think this is more for me than them
It’s just
you never really see images anywhere with connotations like
“This guy is so nice and friendly TAKE ME NOW”
they’re mostly more like “This guy is mysterious and vaguely rapey TAKE ME NOW”
I need to feed my brain with more of that first one to feel less self-conscious
(50 Shades of Gray seems like the ideal example of the latter these days)
OH MY GOD THE PLUBING JUST DID SOMeTHING AND IT SOUNDED LIKE A KItTEN SCREAMING!

friend
OMG
sorry

me
no prob

friend
but yeah
fuck those ideals of male attractiveness

me
agreed
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3 comments on “This is what I sound like when grasping at new concepts

  1. Pingback: Thinking About How I’ve Changed | Research to be Done

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  3. Pingback: What Makes Sex Sexy for Me | Research to be Done

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