Flirting is one of the ways I think I’m reasonably unstereotypical for my gender. Where my impression of the normal strategy for flirting for a lot of people is to get over the whole, “You’re cute and attractive and you make me nervous”, thing and be all confident about it, I’ve never really done that. Instead, I’ve learned to live in the nervousness. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I love it. It makes me feel very unusual (it’s not exactly what James Bond would do), but I also enjoy it very much. If I had to pick one word to describe my style of flirting, it would be “bashful”.
It’s, “You’re cute and I like you and you’re cute and I’m shy after saying that so I’m going to hide under the covers now and peek out at you and if you want you can totally come under here with me and then we can kiss and stuff but only if you want.”
That’s…sort of halfway metaphorical. There aren’t always blankets available, but I think it’s usually clear I totally would think about doing that if there were some available.
I have a lot of fun with it. And as much as I enjoy just playing with the energy that it creates, it also just feels more natural to me than anything else. I like being able to be that around people I like. It feels honest, and it feels fun, and it doesn’t feel like I’m shoving myself into someone else’s space (which is what a lot of other styles of flirting look and feel like to me).
I thought this was going to be a longer entry, but I guess all I really wanted to do was share that as a way of saying, “Look, guys, there’s no one right way to do this, and maybe if you’ve never been able to learn the ‘right’ way, it’s because you need to stop trying and learn the way that feels good to you”. There are plenty of different models for flirting that work for different people, and I imagine to some people out there, mine looks absolutely ridiculous. But it’s fun for me, and sometimes I get to kiss people under blankets.