My Style of Flirting

Flirting is one of the ways I think I’m reasonably unstereotypical for my gender. Where my impression of the normal strategy for flirting for a lot of people is to get over the whole, “You’re cute and attractive and you make me nervous”, thing and be all confident about it, I’ve never really done that. Instead, I’ve learned to live in the nervousness. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I love it. It makes me feel very unusual (it’s not exactly what James Bond would do), but I also enjoy it very much. If I had to pick one word to describe my style of flirting, it would be “bashful”.

It’s, “You’re cute and I like you and you’re cute and I’m shy after saying that so I’m going to hide under the covers now and peek out at you and if you want you can totally come under here with me and then we can kiss and stuff but only if you want.”

That’s…sort of halfway metaphorical. There aren’t always blankets available, but I think it’s usually clear I totally would think about doing that if there were some available.

I have a lot of fun with it. And as much as I enjoy just playing with the energy that it creates, it also just feels more natural to me than anything else. I like being able to be that around people I like. It feels honest, and it feels fun, and it doesn’t feel like I’m shoving myself into someone else’s space (which is what a lot of other styles of flirting look and feel like to me).

I thought this was going to be a longer entry, but I guess all I really wanted to do was share that as a way of saying, “Look, guys, there’s no one right way to do this, and maybe if you’ve never been able to learn the ‘right’ way, it’s because you need to stop trying and learn the way that feels good to you”. There are plenty of different models for flirting that work for different people, and I imagine to some people out there, mine looks absolutely ridiculous. But it’s fun for me, and sometimes I get to kiss people under blankets.

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3 comments on “My Style of Flirting

  1. This! Exactly this! My boyfriend sometimes wonders why I don’t put myself “out there” if/when I decide to flirt with people (or even flirt with him, ahaha), and the reasons you’ve laid out are exactly my reasons, except much more well-worded. It’s also nice to, in a way, have people come to you. You start it, but they meet you halfway. In my head, it’s a nice indication of how someone really feels about you if they do decide to go those few extra inches to kiss you under the blanket.

    I love your blog, by the way! Your entries are always an interesting read πŸ™‚

    • Thanks πŸ˜€

      Yeah, I really enjoy it. It’s a fun way to be forward and keep it fun and nonpushy, most of the time. I asked a friend of mine once if my feelings were easy to read, and her response was, “You know, I don’t know, I think about it and I feel like you’d pretty much just tell me”, which was kind of neat πŸ™‚

      I much prefer feeling like I’m nervous and excited in that “back in high school” sort of way (without so much of the insecurity crap) than trying to be…whatever it is other people try to be when they’re flirting. I never could figure that out.

      Unrelated: Do you have a Twitter account for your blog? I keep following people on WP, and then realizing that I never, ever check that feed, so I’m trying to find ways to follow that I will actually use, and Twitter seems to be good for that.

      • I completely get it. Better to be you and see who responds to who you are rather than see who responds to some other person who’s not you. Go on with your bashful self :3

        I do not have a twitter. I used to have one, but I got rid of that after some drama happened in my non-social networking life, and I didn’t think that social networking sites would be the best thing for me while in that state. So, thank you for the interest in keeping updated with WordPress stuff! But sorry that I don’t have any other means to do that other than actual WordPress XP

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