Time for a life update.
My life has been absolutely ridiculous lately.
First, chronic pain stuff. Tendonitis Is as annoying as ever, and as an added bonus I recently started to have some minor symptoms of it in one of my legs, further restricting the activities I’m capable of doing. There’s not a lot to say about this that I haven’t said already, really, except that it isn’t particularly helpful for my depression or for finding activities I can fill my free time with.
I guess I thought there would be more lamentation how incredibly shitty my body is in this post, but in the end I’m not sure there’s much more to say. My body is crappily made, and it means I can’t do things, and I don’t know when I will be able to do things again, and I don’t know what I should be afraid of doing or not doing, and it’s all a big pile of shit and I hate it.
Socially, my life has been overwhelming lately. About a month ago, I decided to make a concerted effort to be more social. Unlike most of the other times in my life I’ve decided to do this, it worked brilliantly this time, to the extent that I’ve been feeling various levels of socially overloaded for the past three weeks or so. I’ve also learned that group social events can, at times, be sufficiently stressful that they keep me from sleeping after I get home from them. This seems to happen whether or not things go particularly well or poorly at a particular event — more to do with my brain overclocking on social decision-making processes than with an event going badly. This has not been a fun lesson (incidentally, if anyone would like to recommend any particular brands or types of sleeping pills that I might employ on days where this is the case, leave me a comment).
One of the side effects of having been more social has been that I have suddenly and unexpectedly found myself in a number of new situations with girls. Overall, I would say that having found a few instances of mutual interest has been pretty awesome. That said, the fact that they have all happened at exactly the same time has been pretty overwhelming. Each situation has its own set of complexities that I have needed to do processing about, and I find myself really looking forward to a month or two from now, when I imagine things will have settled a bit.
All the changing social/dating context has left me feeling a bit like I just started five new jobs at once. I like the new jobs, but it’s all at once, and there are things to learn about each one before I get comfortable there, and it’s pretty overwhelming.
There are more things, but my brain appears to have suddenly decided to stop working (it likes doing that these days), so this is the update for now.